I'm gonna do it!

Ok...I know I probably shouldn't but I know I'll feel better if I do. So...the past couple of weeks have just been a JOKE in my opinion. Money is a necessary evil that I despise. James and I always seem to have issues with it no matter what we do, that's just life for us. So, I'm almost 6 months pregnant and our insurance company decided to drop us because of a case of missing money. Well...after many phone calls and HOURS of stress I was able to get some answers. My credit union noticed a double charge and asked for one of the payments to be returned. The insurance co. returned the money and charged me $25 for it...LAME!!! So, this was back in Nov. and I just found out about a week and a half ago that I had no insurance and this was why. The bank didn't return the money to my account and just held on to it...costing me my insurance and now the insurance still doesn't want to give it back to me. It's just been the biggest joke and an all around nightmare. Who wants to pregnant with no insurance. To boot...it's the only insurance we can get. So, I'm praying and praying that those making the decision to reinstate us will soften their hearts and let me have my insurance back. If not...well...I'm hoping for the best. I'm sure it will all work out. All I can do is trust in the Lord and know that He is in control. Whew...I feel much better now!

My 4 year old....oh my!

So, the other day we were going to pick up Teancum from school to go and do some work on his science project with dad at his school. Sariah asked if she could sit next to Beka and I said sure, I didn't see any problem with it. Apparently beka did and so we had a melt down but we had already started driving and it was too late. Beka keeps telling me that she doesn't like Sariah sitting next to her because she's annoying and she doesn't like her. I tried to be nice and tell her that she shouldn't say things like that. Next thing I hear the cutest little "Mom, in case you didn't hear me, I don't like Sariah!" I had to do everything I could not to laugh.

This morning I asked the girls to go and clean up my little office area since they made a huge mess of it. Of course they didn't do it yet because I wasn't sitting right on them. I asked them if it was clean and with out even the slightest hesitation Beka looks up "uh...not so much!" I died. It's just hilarious the way she says stuff to us sometimes that just slays me. So, she gets embarrassed and starts jumping on James back. I told her to stop because it was getting annoying but she didn't want to so I said to get off dad because it was getting awkward. Immediately she looks up at me and says "well then don't look anymore!" I swear!!!!!! I love my kids and the funny stuff they say sometimes!

How firm is your foundation?

We had a fantastic lesson in Relief Society on Sunday and I just wanted to share a few of the thoughts that I had. Most of you know that James and I had an extremely rocky 2009. There were times where I know that I was a HORRIBLE person and I lost sight of the things that were truly important in my life. I began asking all those aweful questions like "why me?", "what did I do to deserve this?", "why do my kids have to be put through this?", "will it ever end?" "why don't you love me anymore?" I'm embarrassed to even admit it but those were just a few of the thoughts that I had. We went from living in a beautiful home, in a beautiful area that our whole family loved. We had a good job with benefits and stability for us all and then the rug was pulled from underneath us. We were all devastated. I had a hard time trying to explain to my kids why we had to move and why we didn't have a place of our own. It was not easy for them either. James was able to get a part time job but it didn't have benefits or anything else. Shouldn't complain...it's a step in the right direction. So, I tried to repent (A LOT!) and change my attitude but I was still having a hard time.

Time went on and I was still struggling, then we had an experience that made me stop and think a little (or a lot) about the fact that our Heavenly Father is perfectly aware and in control. We almost lost our dear little neice. It was a really hard week for everyone and I remember the start of the change I began to feel. As I rushed screaming kids downstairs for the other adults to work with her we were scared. I remember shaking and crying but realizing that I had 8 kids looking at ME to know what to do and how to deal with it all. The only thought that came to my mind was that we had to pray as much as we could and hope that it was the Lords will to let her make it. I remember gathering all the kids around me with tears in our eyes and praying, and praying. It was not an easy task but we somehow managed to get it out. Things didn't get better right away but I remember feeling very strongly that The Lord was aware of our situation with our neice and our situation as a family. Things still weren't easy but having that confirmation made it more possible for me to get through. Fortunately through miracles and the will of The Lord, our little neice is strong and healthy and made a full recovery.

At times I know that I have faultered with the strength of my testimony but I know that My Heavenly Father loves me. I know that things aren't always going to be easy in life, but if I put my faith in Him, and trust that as I live the commandments and strive to do all that I can, things will be ok. It may not always be the way I want them to but I know that they will be for the best. As hard as it was for me to leave Monterey, I feel like there have been reasons that we needed to be here. I feel very strongly that James and I needed to be here for our neice. I am grateful for a worthy husband who honors his priesthood because I know that he listened to the spirit and did all that he could to keep our neice alive. I will always be grateful for him and the way that he responded to that situation. He is such a good man and I love him with all my heart. I know that no matter where we go or what we do, if we stay close to our Heavenly Father and as a family, we will always be happy!